The postbox, located beside a café that sells soup and opinions, has been opening with the grim determination of a pensioner late for bingo.
Locals say the flap’s awkward bounce makes it look “intentional”, which in a modern rumour environment is the same as proof.
One passer-by claimed the box “sounded scripted”, though this may simply have been the sound of a letter getting lodged in the mechanism.
A second witness, armed with a phone camera and far too much confidence, suggested the box could be hiding “a supply route, a clue route or, at minimum, a very smug pigeon”.
The council has reportedly not issued a statement, which has only intensified theories that the postbox is “being kept quiet on purpose”.
Experts remain divided, though all agree the flap is, at the very least, committed to the role.