A heroic new bit of nonsense has emerged online in the form of a grainy clip, said to show a seaside chippy sign in Wellington boots directing the flow of nightclub hopefuls outside a Vice City venue.
The sign, which appears to have the authority of a traffic warden and the confidence of a man who once owned two whistles, is seen indicating a separate line for people carrying novelty cocktails, false optimism and mildly damp trainers.
Viewers have naturally done what viewers do best and assigned enormous civic significance to a plank with handwriting on it. One camp insists it is a subtle hint at smarter crowd control. Another believes it is simply a sign doing community service after hours.
In the footage, the queue allegedly becomes more organised whenever the sign is allowed to stand near a neon sausage van. This has led some experts, meaning three people in a forum and one sandwich enthusiast, to describe the scene as a bold new era of urban diplomacy.
Rockstar, who have not said a single thing because this is made up fun, remain blissfully uninvolved while the internet continues to treat a soggy bit of signage like a constitutional monarch.
Should the clip prove anything at all, it is that Vice City may once again be a place where the road to mischief is paved by items with excellent footwear.