Vice Diner Introduces 'Mystery Toast' After Customers Begin Ordering 'Whatever The Rumour Is'

A cheerful diner on the edge of Vice has reportedly introduced a new item called Mystery Toast after customers began arriving and asking for "the thing from the posts".

Staff say the toast may contain butter, jam, or "the concept of anticipation", depending on the day and how persuasive you are.

One regular, who ordered it twice because he "wanted to compare patches", described the experience as "surprisingly decent, and a bit too much like the rumour economy in itself".

The diner has gone further by adding a chalkboard menu of fictional specials, including "Foggy Noodles", "Patch Note Pie", and "A Cup Of Tea That Knows Something".

Locals seem delighted, tourists are taking photos of their cutlery, and the whole affair has become the most sensible thing anybody has done all week.