Vice City Seagulls Now Said To Be 'Tracking The Narrative', Which Is Very Rude Of Them

Residents say the seagulls have become unusually focused, forming tidy circles above bus stops, sandwich queues and one suspiciously interesting lamppost.

According to bird-watchers, the gulls now ignore ordinary snacks and only swoop when someone mentions the words 'mission', 'shoreline' or 'where's my mate gone'.

This has prompted serious discussion about whether the birds are acting as environmental storytellers, or simply recognising a free lunch from fifty feet up.

Local philosopher and man outside the minimart, Kev, suggested the gulls 'know too much' and should be 'kept away from reflective surfaces'.

While no one can confirm the birds are plotting anything, they have been seen looking pointedly towards the harbour in a manner described as 'a bit on the nose, frankly'.