Vice City’s finest theory lads have returned with a fresh one: a striped umbrella on the promenade is, they say, arranged in a way that can only mean jet skis are being introduced, removed, then reintroduced for dramatic effect.
The evidence appears to be that the umbrella is tilted. This, according to one analyst, is either “environmental storytelling” or “the council having a day off.”
A second observer pointed out that every nearby deck chair seems to be facing the water, which they described as “a clear sign of anticipation.” It was later noted that this is also the usual direction for chairs by the sea.
Still, the mood remains confident. Several forum users have declared the umbrella’s shadow “too cinematic,” while one man in shorts insisted the fabric pattern is “doing a lot of world-building for a Sunday.”
Our newsroom will continue to monitor all beach furniture for suspicious body language and any sudden increase in nautical swagger.
Fans have already begun sketching maps of the shoreline using ice cream receipts and guesses. The resulting diagram is, in fairness, quite persuasive if you do not know what a map is.