According to sources who definitely live inside the nearest decorative hedge, the bin liner in question was seen swelling with purpose beside a café on the waterfront.
Observers claim it performed three separate rustles, which local analysts have described as “the unmistakable sound of ambition getting stuck in a breeze.”
One onlooker said the liner appeared to be “working through some things” before leaning against a scooter and making a shape that looked, frankly, a bit managerial.
The supposed footage also includes a brief moment where the liner catches the wind and seems to rise half an inch, prompting wild speculation that it is “testing a launch sequence” for future bins.
Nobody involved has confirmed anything, which is exactly what makes this all feel hugely believable in the least believable way possible.