Witnesses with very poor eyesight claim the trolley was seen wobbling heroically along a painted bus lane, looking as though it had a weekly pass and a firm opinion on timetables.
The footage, if one can call a blur with ambition ‘footage’, allegedly shows the trolley ignoring a bollard, a cone, and the general concept of shame.
One expert in nothing whatsoever said the trolley’s raincoat suggests a broader trend toward weatherproof public-sector mobility, which is the sort of sentence that should probably be illegal.
We are assured by absolutely no one that this development will transform Vice City’s commute, unless commuters now travel exclusively by metal basket with a squeaky wheel.