The latest ‘clip’ doing the rounds online appears to show a traffic cone in a cardigan taking charge of a late-night snack queue at the edge of Vice City, which is either a clue, a prank, or a municipal fashion emergency.
In the footage, the cone stands proudly by a glowing burger van, making what can only be described as decisive thoughts with its entire body shape. Nearby pedestrians continue their evening as though this is a normal feature of civic life.
One witness, who may have been a seagull or possibly a man with chips, said the cone had ‘real management energy’ and ‘the calm eyes of someone who has seen too many onion rings’.
Fans immediately began arguing over whether the cardigan means the game will feature a more detailed weather system, a new snack economy, or simply better wool physics than before.
We would, of course, stress that this is almost certainly nonsense of the highest order. Still, the cone’s commitment to the role has already made it the public favourite for Vice City’s unofficial Night Shift Director post.