In what the internet is calling a Very Real Piece Of Something, a new ‘leaked’ clip allegedly shows a traffic cone in a cardigan standing beside a clipboard and behaving like it has every right to be there.
The cone is said to gesture sternly at the horizon before delivering what witnesses describe as a “deeply administrative” speech about drizzle, heat haze, and the need for roundabouts to remain optimistic.
Experts on nothing in particular have noted that the cardigan appears hand-knitted by someone with strong opinions about municipal branding.
One frame allegedly shows the cone nodding at a passing cloud as if negotiating terms. Another shows it being saluted by a seagull, which sources close to the footage claim is “standard Vice City procedure”.
The clip has naturally sent forum users into a frenzy, with some insisting it proves the game contains advanced weather politics, while others believe it merely proves the city has become unsafely stylish.
Nobody credible is confirming anything, of course, but if a traffic cone can wear knitwear and issue wind advisories, then frankly the whole schedule is in trouble.