An obviously fictional clip has supposedly emerged showing a tea urn in a bomber jacket revving its way through traffic with all the dignity of a kettle at a bank holiday barbecue.
Viewers claim the urn was heard announcing it was "not here for paperwork" before skidding around a corner and disappearing behind a sandwich van.
Experts, meaning three blokes in the comments, say the performance may indicate a new criminal-adjacent subculture of municipal caffeine.
We can confirm nothing except that the tea urn looked determined, hydrated, and mildly offended by speed limits.
If real, which it isn't, the clip would represent a bold new direction in automotive storytelling and workplace refreshments.