According to absolutely nobody official, a grainy clip has surfaced of a seagull in a tiny boiler suit and steel-toe boots waddling up to a chip shop like it owns the franchise.
The bird is allegedly seen peering into a basket of fries, nodding once, and giving what onlookers described as ‘the face of a man who has found one too many soggy chips’.
Fans have, naturally, concluded this means Vice City will soon feature a full municipal chip-audit system, complete with bird-led inspections and a firm stance on undercooked batter.
One expert in nonsense suggested the seagull may be part of a wider ecosystem of characters who turn up looking vaguely overqualified for lunch.
If true, it would be the first time a shortlist has ever been presented in wings.