The internet has once again done what it does best: looked at a blur on a screen and declared it constitutional law.
This time, the so-called ‘footage’ appears to show a jogger wearing a woolly cravat, pacing through a sun-bleached car park and pointing at absolutely nothing with alarming conviction.
Within minutes, theorists concluded the figure was not merely exercising, but laying the groundwork for a Ministry of Vague Urgency, complete with red tape, laminated forms, and a sandwich queue that never moves.
One source close to nobody said the jogger’s left shoe ‘looked administrative’, which in rumour culture is apparently enough to trigger a seven-day thread and three reaction videos.
Forum experts have also noted a suspiciously official clipboard, though closer inspection suggests it may in fact be a takeaway menu folded into a rectangle.
As ever, no one can prove anything, but that has not stopped the public from insisting the cravat is a clue, the stride is symbolic, and the sweaty determination is definitely an announcement.
In summary: if this turns out to be real, Vice City may soon be governed by a chap in running gear and a scarf that says ‘I have read the minutes’.