A new bit of alleged nonsense has emerged, and it concerns a dustbin in a tuxedo, which is the sort of thing Vice City only usually gets after midnight and a strong wind.
The clip, if it exists in the usual sense, appears to show the bin standing outside a sandwich shop with the calm confidence of a man who has been told he is now “in charge of lunch”.
Observers claim the bin wore a tiny bow tie, a clipboard, and an expression suggesting it had already judged the bread situation to be “below standard but workable”.
One onlooker, who may have been a tourist or may have been a seagull with strong opinions, said the bin was seen nodding at pastrami as though approving a promotion.
No one can verify anything, because the only reliable witness is a man selling novelty spoons who kept getting distracted by a scooter. Still, the footage has reportedly sparked excitement among locals who enjoy a disciplined approach to fillings.
If true, this would mark a major shift in Vice City’s culinary landscape, with the dustbin expected to introduce stricter rules on mayo placement, emotional support pickles, and the correct posture for toasted ciabatta.
Naturally, the internet has responded with extreme caution and no overreaction whatsoever. Several users immediately declared the bin to be “100% real” and “the most qualified candidate in the building”.
At press time, the dustbin had not commented, though sources close to the matter insist it was seen quietly sweeping crumbs into a folder marked PRIORITIES.