A brand-new and definitely imaginary clip has washed up on the internet, apparently showing a crab in a tiny tie striding sideways across a marina with the air of a man who has just discovered email.
The footage, which almost certainly exists only in the minds of overexcited forum users, shows the creature pausing to inspect a stack of forms before clicking one claw in what experts have described as ‘strong manager energy’.
Observers claim the crab then sidesteps a coffee cup, glances sternly at a seagull, and appears to assign a task to nobody in particular. This has been taken by the public to mean it is ‘in charge’ of absolutely everything.
Local commentators have welcomed the rumour as proof that Vice City’s business culture is still alive and well, provided it can be reached by small claws and a lot of confidence.
The clip remains wholly fictional, but that has not stopped fans from declaring the crab to be ‘office-ready’, ‘promotion-minded’, and ‘at least as organised as most of us on a Monday’.