A mysterious clip, which may or may not be a hedge with aspirations, appears to show a bouncer-grade shrub in a tie standing outside a neon arcade and looking deeply unimpressed with everyone alive.
The footage, clearly captured on a device with excellent timing and questionable priorities, suggests the hedge has appointed itself as head of a new civic office: the Department of Public Staring.
Locals in the clip are seen approaching, pausing, and then deciding against whatever they were about to do, which experts are calling the strongest authority a plant has ever demonstrated.
One passer-by reportedly tried to ask for directions, only to receive a long silence and the sort of glare usually reserved for people who bring crisps into meetings.
Rumour enthusiasts have already declared this proof that Vice City is entering a fresh era of ornamental bureaucracy, though the hedge itself has yet to confirm, deny, or shed any leaves on the matter.