In the latest bit of absolutely not-verified nonsense, a ‘leaked’ clip allegedly shows a bin lorry wearing a cravat and reversing with the confidence of a man who’s just been told the DJ is late.

Observers say the vehicle pauses under a buzzing sign, blips its horn twice, and then appears to stare into the camera as if requesting a table near the dance floor.

One self-appointed analyst claims this is “obviously” Rockstar’s way of teasing a richer nightlife ecosystem, though others suspect it is merely a lorry that has had a long day and fancied a bit of attention.

The clip also includes what looks like a glittery cone, a valet stand, and a man in sunglasses applauding the vehicle’s commitment to timing.

As ever, this is fiction dressed up as gossip in a hat, so please do not ring anyone, write to anyone, or attempt to interview the lorry.