Rumour devotees have once again gathered round a blurry thing and declared it to be destiny.
This time the object in question is a logbook left on a fishing boat, which allegedly contains a note about ‘the little clawed lads’ and a diagram that looks, at best, like a sandwich.
Fans instantly translated this into a whole mission chain involving secret crab meetings, offshore smugglers, and a possible underwater getaway vehicle that is probably just a tide.
One analyst, speaking from the safety of a chair, said the handwriting ‘suggests confidence’ and therefore ‘cannot be ignored’. Another noted that the page is folded in a way that ‘feels deliberate’, which is the sort of reasoning that keeps a forum alive through winter.
The actual logbook also mentions engine oil, missing gloves, and someone called Kev, but these are being treated as classic misdirection by people who have never met Kev and are therefore suspicious of him by default.
Our position remains straightforward: it is a fictional notebook, the crabs are almost certainly not unionised, and nobody should be building a naval theory out of damp paper and optimism.