Fence Post ‘Basically Verifies’ Secret Side Mission About Someone’s Cousin, Say Scholars With

The internet has once again looked at an object the size of a loaf of bread and concluded it contains the fate of the entire map.

This week’s suspect is a fence post, which appears to be standing at an angle. Naturally, fans have taken this as proof of a side mission involving a cousin, a missing key, and possibly a very damp car boot.

One forum expert said the tilt was 'too intentional to ignore', which is a phrase now meaning absolutely nothing but is nevertheless being repeated everywhere.

Another pointed out that the post is near a bin, a bench and a small patch of grass, which in rumour law means it could be anything from a cutscene to a lifestyle choice.

Rock-solid evidence was also found in the shape of a nearby shadow, which one observer described as 'doing a lot'.

At press time, the fence post had declined to comment and continued being a fence post, which only strengthened the speculation.