Experts Say One Slightly Too-Angry Seagull Is ‘Structurally Enough’ For A Whole Crime Subplot

The bird in question was observed standing on a bin with the air of a man who has just realised he left the oven on and the car running.

Analysts said the seagull’s posture suggested either deep tactical thought or a personal grievance against the chip wrapper industry.

“You don’t perch like that unless you’re guarding something,” explained one local gentleman, while buying a pasty and pretending not to be in a rush.

Other observers pointed out that the seagull had made three separate dramatic head turns, which in rumour-speak means the map is “absolutely brimming with intrigue”.

There is, naturally, no evidence of a plot, but the internet has already assigned the bird a codename, a backstory, and a minor theme tune on harmonica.

At press time, the seagull had flown off, leaving behind only one feather and a scene of complete overreaction.