Locals allegedly observed the line outside a seaside bakery move in what witnesses described as a ‘military-grade wobble’, with one man twice circling the lamppost as if awaiting a coded crumpet.
Within minutes, amateur analysts concluded this was not a queue at all, but a highly advanced mission structure built around the logistics of jam doughnuts and trust issues.
The theory is that players will be asked to tail a suspicious sausage roll, only to discover the real objective is to ‘blend in naturally’ while pretending to like bran muffins.
No one involved has confirmed anything, because no one involved exists, and the bakery itself has reportedly denied all involvement aside from selling a frankly alarming number of iced buns.
Still, fans remain convinced the zig-zag pattern is ‘too deliberate to be coincidence’, which is also what they say every time a shopping basket has a slightly funny wheel.