Our analysts have examined a perfectly ordinary-looking welly boot wearing a waistcoat and reached the only conclusion that matters: Vice City’s weather department is about to become deeply silly.
The theory is that the boot’s polished stance and tactical lining indicate leadership potential, especially in drizzle-heavy districts where umbrellas have a short and tragic career.
Supporters say the boot is a natural fit for the job, as it has experience with standing in mud, accepting criticism from clouds, and being left by the back door.
Sceptics, meanwhile, argue that a boot cannot possibly forecast anything unless it begins by predicting where the other boot is, which is fair enough.
If the rumours are correct, players may soon find themselves receiving weather updates from a footwear-based civil servant with a firm grip on precipitation and an unsettling fondness for spreadsheets.