Analysts Say A Very Serious Sun Umbrella Is ‘Obviously’ Preparing For A Grand Sentimental Meltdown

Observers in the fictional Vice State have reported that one sun umbrella, positioned beside a café that sells suspiciously expensive lemonade, has begun tilting at what locals describe as “a very considered angle”.

It is understood to have spent most of the afternoon casting shade over a bench, a milkshake, and one man who was only trying to read a map.

Analysts, speaking with the kind of certainty usually reserved for weather forecasts and sandwich arguments, say the umbrella is “clearly setting up a big heartfelt reveal”.

One theory suggests it may be covering for a dramatic reunion. Another claims it simply dislikes sunburn and has become oddly committed to the bit.

Either way, residents have been advised not to make eye contact, as the umbrella appears to be in the middle of a serious narrative phase.