Pundits are once again doing what they do best: staring at a completely fictional object and building a thesis around it until someone in a cafe asks them to leave.
This week’s subject is a surfboard in spectacles, which analysts believe is not just a prop but a symbol, a mood, and possibly a replacement for the entire transport ministry.
According to the theory, the board’s glasses imply a new era of “considered speed”, in which taxis will no longer simply arrive; they will arrive with opinions.
The idea gained traction after a blurry image circulated showing the surfboard near a rank, angled slightly as if assessing whether the taxi queue had understood the assignment.
Experts say the eyewear suggests heightened awareness of lane discipline, destination ambiguity, and the social importance of not honking like a raccoon in a saucepan.
Sceptics have described the analysis as “a touch much”, but the same sceptics were later seen taking notes, which in academic circles counts as surrender.
If the surfboard does become the face of taxi etiquette, residents can expect gentler u-turns, more respectful horn usage, and possibly a new policy requiring drivers to apologise before overtaking.
Either way, Vice City remains committed to its long tradition of letting complete silliness set the tone, especially when it is wearing proper frames.