Analysts have been at it again, staring into the void and finding a tie-wearing umbrella with ‘strong infrastructure potential’.
The object in question, said to be standing very straight beside a bus stop, has allegedly been described as ‘a natural leader’ and ‘probably quite good at queues’.
Experts believe the umbrella’s real strength lies in its ability to offer shade, confusion and a slight sense of betrayal all at once.
They say Vice City’s bus stops are poised for a major refresh, with sharper signage, moodier shelter angles and the possible introduction of a sighing mechanism for delays.
One report, drafted entirely in the spirit of career preservation, claims the umbrella may also improve passenger confidence by doing absolutely nothing while looking important.
Sceptics have pointed out that umbrellas, by design, are not usually architects. Analysts countered that neither are several existing bus stops.
The result is a solidly made-up theory with enough starch to survive three morning editions and a light drizzle.