A fresh wave of analyst enthusiasm has settled on a shopping trolley seen wearing Argyle sunglasses and standing near a bench with the confidence of a minor aristocrat.
The thinking, such as it is, suggests the trolley is not merely roaming but actively lobbying for a complete rethink of public seating.
One graph-heavy report claims the vehicle’s front wheels indicate “forward momentum”, while its slightly crooked basket implies “an instinct for compromise”.
This has led observers to speculate that Vice City could soon see benches repainted, moved, renamed or, in one case, politely replaced by a lamppost with better manners.
Sensible citizens are urged to remember that all of this is nonsense, though it is undeniably the sort of nonsense that keeps the tabloids in business.