Analysts, who are to common sense what a glitter cannon is to carpet, have reportedly concluded that a sandwich board in a trench coat may be about to reshape every roadside transaction in Vice City.
Their reasoning is said to rest on three pillars: a visible logo, a dramatic turn of pace, and the unsettling confidence usually found in a man who says he can fix a leak with one phone call and a biscuit.
According to the theory, the board’s unique combination of advertisement, wardrobe, and immediate square-shouldered determination could force cafés, garages, and one very confused parking attendant to rethink their entire pricing model.
One expert allegedly called the move ‘disruptive’, which in this case appears to mean ‘wearing too many layers and standing near traffic’.
If the prediction lands, the city could soon see a surge in self-moving promotions, coat-based commerce, and lunch-related infrastructure policy drafted by committee and ignored by everyone except the pigeons.