A new wave of totally scientific speculation has arrived, this time concerning a roller disco lighthouse spotted in what may or may not be a menu background, a loading screen, or someone’s uncle’s dream.
According to analysts, the lighthouse’s mirrored shades and wheels are “obviously” symbolic of Vice City’s nightlife economy. The theory is that it will spend the evenings guiding boats, then sprinting off to a club to request the VIP list.
The evidence is said to include the glow, the rhythm, and the fact that it appears to be standing near water, which fans have long considered a sign of imminent narrative significance.
Critics have pointed out that it could simply be a lighthouse with disco shoes on, but that has not slowed the discussion. If anything, it has made the discussion more determined and slightly more glittery.
In summary: the internet has decided a building on wheels is either central to the plot or deeply committed to jazz. Both possibilities remain, regrettably, within the realm of parody.