Following the mysterious appearance of a waistcoat-clad pigeon near a row of luxury balconies, analysts have drawn the only conclusion available to them: the bird is planning something.
The waistcoat, they say, is no mere fashion choice but a sign of administrative intent. One expert described it as “the look of a creature ready to do very boring paperwork, but with crumbs.”
The balcony economy, which we have just now invented, is reportedly set to experience unprecedented growth, assuming pigeons can continue to negotiate with patio furniture.
Observers noted several strategic pauses, a confident head-tilt, and what may have been a tiny nod toward a planter box. In today’s climate, that is apparently enough to trigger forecasts.
The general theory is that Vice City is entering a new era of feather-based management, where terrace access, flowerpots and stray toast will all be subject to a strict but oddly elegant regime.
We repeat, none of this is real. However, it does sound exactly like the sort of thing the internet would celebrate with five thousand comments and a blurry zoom-in.