A fresh wave of sophisticated nonsense has swept the forums after viewers claimed a pelican in a bowler hat was spotted standing near a pay-and-display machine with the air of a man auditing a train timetable.
According to the theory, the bird’s refusal to blink for seven straight seconds indicates strategic authority, while its habit of pecking only at unattended chips suggests a strong position on enforcement.
Analysts have concluded that this means parking in Vice City may become a matter of etiquette, geography and whether the pelican approves of your mirror alignment.
They also note the hat sits at a slight angle, which in modern game science apparently means either a deep lore clue or a bird with opinions about urban planning.
The whole thing could, of course, just be a pelican wearing a hat. But where’s the fun in that, frankly?