In the latest example of everyone seeing far too much in a bird, analysts are convinced a parrot in a silk scarf is absolutely destined to sort out Vice City’s beach permits.
The logic is simple: the scarf is elegant, the beak is firm, and the parrot has the sort of expression usually reserved for people who have just discovered a surcharge.
According to one breathless breakdown, the bird’s repeated squawk may actually be coded bureaucratic language for ‘submit the form in triplicate’.
Sceptics have pointed out that parrots do not, in fact, issue permits, but the analyst camp responded by saying that was exactly what a good permit-negotiator would want everyone to think.
If true, the city’s shoreline could soon be governed by a feathered intermediary with strong opinions on deckchairs and a deeply suspicious relationship with public access.