If the rumours are to be believed, Vice City is entering a bold new era in which a paper cup wearing sunglasses may be the most influential object on the beachfront.
Our imaginary analysts suggest that such a character would not merely exist in the background, but would act as a walking symbol of status, timing, and lukewarm ambition. In plain English: it looks expensive, slightly smug, and probably knows where the good espresso is.
The theory goes that the city’s morning routine could be shaped by coffee kiosks, rival queues, and tense decisions about whether one orders a flat white, an iced thing, or just stares at the menu until the mood passes.
This, naturally, has led to wild speculation that NPC behaviour may now include stronger opinions about takeaway lids, palm-tree shade, and who gets to stand nearest the grinder.
None of this is confirmed, because it is all made up. But if a sunglasses-wearing cup does appear, we expect it to be carrying the kind of authority usually reserved for parking attendants and weather presenters.