A panel of fictional analysts has examined an equally fictional taxi fitted with a karaoke machine, then made the very serious claim that it is poised to become a ‘major social force’.

The taxi, said to favour ballads, blinkers and dramatic key changes, allegedly performs at red lights with the confidence of a man who has missed the last train and found peace with it.

Experts noted that the velvet bow tie may be decorative, symbolic, or simply the result of a laundry misunderstanding, but either way the cab has ‘clear crossover appeal’.

One analyst declared the vehicle’s strength lies in its ability to turn a routine lift into ‘an unforgettable emotional inconvenience’.

The report concludes that any future economic rise in the local entertainment sector should be credited to bad parking and impeccable harmonies.