Industry boffins have taken one blurry frame of a crab at a seaside microphone and declared, with a straight face, that the creature is ‘setting up a serious tourism push’.
The crab, seen wearing a blazer and standing beside a neon palm tree, is said to symbolise the game’s new approach to coastal management, which apparently now includes background music, scheduling and emotional support for seagulls.
According to analysts, the crab’s sideways movement points to a ‘dynamic urban flow model’, though others suggest it simply could not be bothered to walk forward.
The real clue, they insist, is the karaoke machine, which they believe confirms a major storyline about a seafront entertainment review, a dispute over reserved decking, and at least one very awkward rendition of a power ballad.
In reality, the only thing confirmed is that a crab in formalwear remains a powerful image, and possibly the most qualified tourist official Vice City has ever produced.