Fresh from a period of intense nonsense, analysts are now arguing that a garden hose wearing reading glasses could be the next big thing in Vice City’s social ecosystem.
The theory goes that if the game includes more expressive props and stranger ambient behaviour, then a hose with a bit of administrative flair could easily become the unofficial mayor of the pavement.
Supporters point to its natural qualities: flexibility, frustration, and the ability to appear useful while quietly getting in everyone’s way.
The glasses, meanwhile, are said to indicate “premium intellect,” a status usually reserved for pigeons, traffic cones, and one particularly judgmental sandwich.
Whether this means new missions, enhanced background comedy, or simply a hose having a better work ethic than half the city remains to be seen. Still, the prospect has given the rumour mill something wet to chew on.