Pundits have spent the morning asking the sort of question that would get you politely escorted from a serious office: what if a choir of garden gnomes is the real power behind Vice City’s bus-stop culture?
According to highly unofficial thinking, the theory rests on three pillars: tiny hats, impeccable timing, and a complete refusal to move when anyone is in a hurry.
The idea is that a six-strong gnome ensemble could improve queue discipline simply by humming sternly at late arrivals, thereby restoring order to the bus-stop ecosystem without any need for signage, enforcement, or common sense.
Sceptics have argued that gnomes are decorative and therefore unfit for infrastructure reform. Supporters counter that most of modern civic life is decorative anyway, just with worse singing.
If true, the implications are huge: a chorus in the north, a brass section by the tram stop, and perhaps a full municipal opera by Christmas.