A fresh wave of highly scientific guesswork suggests a broom wearing loafers is about to become the next big thing in Vice City civic life.
According to the analysis, the broom’s choice of footwear indicates a ‘cross-demographic appeal’ to commuters, janitors and anyone who has ever lost patience with a patio.
Experts say the handle-to-shoe ratio is particularly strong, with one commentator calling it ‘a bold silhouette that says: I may be tidy, but I’m not here to make friends’.
The broom’s rumoured platform includes cleaner pavements, firmer parking cones and a hard line on stray confetti, which has already won it a loyal following among shopkeepers and extremely punctual citizens.
In truth, of course, none of this is real. It is a glorified joke dressed as a headline, and the broom is almost certainly just standing there being a broom.