According to our in-house reading of the clouds, the seagull’s binoculars indicate a serious commitment to maritime gossip and possibly shed ownership.
Its posture, which can only be described as ‘judgemental with intent’, suggests it is monitoring ferry arrivals, chip deliveries, and any pedestrians holding a sandwich without authority.
The bird’s presence near the waterfront has been interpreted as a sign that Vice City’s entire harbour economy may soon be run on crumbs, squawking, and suspiciously aggressive head tilts.
Economists remain divided, with one saying the seagull has ‘real leadership energy’ and another asking us to stop ringing him at home.