Following yesterday’s nonsense, several self-appointed analysts have concluded that a bin lorry wearing a tie could become the next great symbol of order in Vice City.
Their reasoning is simple: if a vehicle capable of collecting half a street can also look presentable, then perhaps the city’s commuters can too.
The theory suggests the tie may function as a visual cue, encouraging drivers to queue more politely, cyclists to pretend they saw the red light, and pedestrians to move with purpose for once.
One analyst described the lorry as “a moving metaphor for municipal confidence”, which is the sort of sentence that should trigger an immediate wellbeing check.
Whether or not this will actually happen remains unknown, but the market for formal waste management appears to be heating up.