Vice City’s flamingo statues have become the latest object of mass speculation, after a group of enthusiasts insisted their fixed smiles are ‘too knowing to be accidental’.
The theory, published between two strong teas and one alarming spreadsheet, claims the birds are positioned in patterns that can only mean a hidden activity involving water, timing, and possibly a very rude hat.
Experts say the evidence includes the flamingos facing different directions, which is either deliberate design or a draught.
One witness told us: ‘I saw three of them and immediately felt I was being guided toward a collectible. I can’t explain why, but I had the strong sense I’d be rewarded for walking in a circle.’
Developers have not commented, mostly because they are fictional in this context and also because the flamingos have remained silent throughout.